How Do You Teach Your Better Half A Lesson???

[d`monyita]

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addiction is actually just THE symptom of the problem.... the problem is NOT addiction... but dig deeper.

most of the time it is self-worth.  people who have low self-esteem... whether they admit it or not... have addictions in one form or the other....




waaahhh paano na mga C.I.A?

[cholokoy]

Hehehe...sakto pod ka d'monyita. Na hala mag - dig na ta aron mahibal - an unsay gilubong sa tago.

[Zahara]

^ Yup... you're right. :mrgreen:

[d`monyita]

So what did u finally do to teach him a lesson, sis Zahara?

[Streetcar]

If the bitter half, lol i mean better half is not cognizant of his actions (which in this case he might not even think that he is doing anything wrong) and if both of you have different values then its almost impossible to change them. If they change they might temporarily do that but you will find them back at where they started from again. I dont believe you can impose a change or control them by teaching them a lesson unless they themselves is willing to change for themselves. Doing so might even be counterproductive as they might begin to resent your efforts to change them. If there are things about him that you are not willing to put up with then you shouldn't be with him. It may be possible for a person to change but they need to make that change for themselves.

[Zahara]

Yep, sis Streetcar is right. You cannot control another person...the best you can do is control yourself or your reactions. Then, it also helps to understand the other person more...on why he keeps doing certain "stuff". It doesnt solve the problem but it will give you a new insight on the person.

It also helps to just let him be. :mrgreen:

Lastly, prayers helped. Only God can do miracles.

[zsigred]

DO NOT PAY. do not give money. do not. do not. yun lang.

careful lang though...he might resort to selling ur stuff just so he can pay off his debts. or to stealing. hide your jewelry. your land titles. your insurance policies.

if he does that....and worse... be prepared to leave him. your kids are more important. do u want them to grow up with that?

i agree :mrgreen: unless nangutang xa pra sa inyong family dli na responsibility sa wife nga mubayad ana nga utang.

[Zahara]

^ Actually, dili responsibility sa wife bayran utang ni hubby in 2 cases...one, is when you have a prenuptial agreement and two, bisan way prenup, the wife and husband can petition the court for separation of property (and debts). When iit's one of those cases, the wife is not obliged.

But in my case, it is settled. Okay na mi. We've talked about it. :mrgreen:

As to what i did...i just wait it out. I showed him that im in for the long haul and im never giving up on us. I waited patiently and i tried to be really consistent. In the end, he saw my sincerity.

To the mods, kindly close this thread too. The situation is resolved to my satisfaction already.

[tagatisa]

sit down and talk to him. be honest about it. thats the only way for him to know that you dont abide by his actions.